Conference Dominos For Dummies!

College football is changing! And don’t let anyone tell you this isn’t all about football, because it is. Teams could move later based on their hoops prowess, but not in the beginning. Oh yeah, it’s also about money- a lot of money. Starting off, the Big East has its own TV network, and the thing with TV networks is that you get paid via a subscription, that’s why commercials always tell you to call your local cable provider. Networks like ESPN are carried throughout the country because ESPN has a broad audience since they report on everything. Conversely, it’s doubtful that any large group of people outside of a Big 10 school area really cares about the Big 10, therefore, they don’t want a subscription to the hotness that is the B10 Network. Jim Delaney’s solution: let’s expand our conference into new areas and get those subscriptions.

Larry Scott, commissioner of the Pac 10, was definitely (I’m hoping) sitting around sippin’ a frozen margarita in SoCal when he heard about the Big 10’s plans. He quickly came to the conclusion that not only would the Pac 10 need a tv network of their own, but they would expand their conference to locations hilariously far from the Pacific coast, thus creating millions of dollars for everyone involved.

Probably Larry Scott

That’s the general outline and the only things we’re sure of right now is that Nebraska is going to one of the teams going to the Big 10 and all hell is breaking lose. As to where everyone else is going, let’s take a page out of BP’s book and dig deep!

The Players:

Jim Delaney and the Big 10: Not only is it a conference with a misleading name (there are 11 teams), but Delaney and Co. have been the aggressor this off season. Hell bent on at least adding one more team for a championship game, they probably want to get to 16 teams and create a “super conference”. Targets: Notre Dame, the Big 12, the Big East.

Larry Scott and the Pac 10: While they actually have the amount of teams included in their name, the Pac 10 is just as gung-ho about expansion as the Big 10. Their aspirations also include a 16 team conference, but they don’t really have a target list – it’s more of a treasure map where X marks the entire footprint of the Big 12 South.

Dan Beebe and the Big 12: No, this isn’t the guy that stripped Leon Lett at the goal line in Super Bowl XXVII, that’s DON Beebe. Wait, I’m the only one who thinks of that? Moving on… If you can’t tell from above, the Big 12 is basically f*cked.

Mike Slive and the SEC: So far, these guys have been content to sit back and watch everything unfold. Unlike the other conferences, they don’t have as much consideration for TV markets due to their gigantic deals with CBS and ESPN. However, some reports did surface today that they have been in talk with Texas A&M.

The Big East: I have no idea who the current commissioner is, and I don’t really care. I do know their former commissioner is on the University of Memphis’ payroll for some reason and has a ridiculously hard last name when it comes to spelling. (Trangassheshehs?) Sidenote: did you know the Big East only has eight football teams? How in the hell are they a BCS conference? The Big East won’t be adding anyone until all the dust settles, expect them to lose a couple of teams at the very least though.

The ACC: Nearly the same as above, they won’t be adding anyone immediately unless they have to. I assume most of their days are spent praying that the SEC won’t come, bend them over, and take a couple of their successful programs.

Scenarios:

The Big 10 / Pac 10 Will Have an Orgasm

First Movers:

- Big 10 adds: Notre Dame(I), Nebraska(B12N), Missouri(B12N), Rutgers(BE), Pittsburgh(BE).

- Pac 10 adds: Texas(B12S), Texas A&M(B12S), Oklahoma(B12S), Oklahoma State(B12S), Texas Tech(B12S), Colorado (B12N).

Hello revenue streams! The Big 10 grabs Notre Dame and gets to slide into the New York market with Rutgers. The Pac 10 extends their footprint into Texas and Oklahoma AND they don’t have to take Texas’ ugly step sister, Baylor.

Second movers:

- Mountain West adds: Kansas(B12N), Baylor(B12S), Iowa State(B12N), Kansas State(B12N), Boise State(WAC)

Kansas loses here in the basketball side of things, but they win on the football side. The new MWC has a strong lineup with these teams being added to already successful programs like TCU, BYU, Utah, and Air Force. This new 16 team league is definitely better than a pre watered down Big East or ACC.

But our basketball team is so good!

Third movers:

- SEC adds: Miami(ACCC), Florida State(ACCA), Virginia Tech(ACCC), Virginia(ACCC).

First of all, why have your two divisions named the “Coastal” and “Atlantic” divisions? It’s not cute, it’s just annoying. This scenario is basically the SEC acknowledging that they need to do something, and why not screw over the ACC while doing it. (Take that Georgia Tech!) I bet some of you are wondering why Virginia is on this list. It’s because of the pesky state stuff that Texas had to deal with above; if you want Virginia Tech, you have to take Virginia. Here’s the bright side, now Vanderbilt has someone to play with!

The Fallout:

If you can’t tell from the name, this seems a bit farfetched. Notre Dame would have some incentive to finally join a conference, but they wouldn’t exactly have their backs against the wall. Additionally, there’s no way that the Pac 10 gets all the other Texas schools and leave Baylor out. In a more likely variation, just switch Colorado and Baylor and it’s plausible. Still unsure if the SEC would do anything, especially since Virginia would be the only new market.

Big 10 Misses ND, Big 12 Still F*cked, SEC Expands to 14

First movers:

Big 10 adds: Nebraska(B12N), Missouri(B12N), Rutgers(BE), Pittsburgh(BE), and ??

Pac 10 adds: Texas(B12S), Baylor(B12S), Oklahoma(B12S), Oklahoma State(B12S), Texas Tech(B12S), Colorado (B12N).

SEC adds: Texas A&M(B12S), Miami(ACCC).

If you can’t tell how convoluted this is, just look at the fact that I have no idea who the Big 10 would add as their 16^th team. West Virginia? Come on, those guys don’t have televisions. Cincinatti or Louisville? They still have that C-USA stink on them, and their academics aren’t up to Big 10 standards. Iowa State? I know nothing about them other than the fact that Iowa is current a Big 10 member. (Can you write me a reference bro?) Kansas? Package deal with Kansas State. Seriously, I have no idea. I wouldn’t be surprised if they tried to pry someone like Boston College away from the ACC. Again in this scenario, the Pac 10 gets most of Texas and Colorado. The biggest coup here is the SEC gaining A&M. This opens the Texas market, adds a team with a long history, and allows the SEC to only have to expand eastward by one team. (Other candidates besides Miami would be FSU, Clemson, GA Tech.)

Welcome to the SEC!

Second movers:

ACC adds: Syracuse(BE) AND/OR UConn (BE)

Great Midwest adds: Kansas(B12N), Kansas State(B12N), West Virginia(BE), Cincinnati(BE), Louisvile(BE), USF(BE), Memphis(CUSA), Syracuse(BE) OR UConn(BE), UAB(CUSA – if needed).

The ACC gets a 12^th team back so they can still host a championship game and a new conference is formed, with an old name. This is a bit of a homer statement, but isn’t Memphis a little too big for CUSA at this point? CUSA just awarded the conference basketball tournament to El Paso. El Paso? Clearly, Memphis needs to find greener pastures. This eight team conference has some great football and some new and old rivalries on the basketball court.

Generic Scenario #3

I could take any of the above, flip some teams around a few times and I could create scenarios all day. (I MAKE IT RAIN.) However, I think both of you reading this get the general idea(s): The Big 10 is getting bigger, the Pac 10 is getting Texas, the Big 12 is f*cked, the Big East and ACC are scared, and the SEC is surveying the landscape at this point.

Throw some of your scenarios in the comments.