Q: Hi Debo! Khloe Kardashian, here. Long time reader, first time writer! Would it be totally out of line if I dumped Lamar Odom for Rondo? I know Rondo looks like an alien, but he has HUUGE hands! That is a trait that is VERY important to me! Plus, I’ve always liked the east coast. And I mean, hello!? Huge hands… HUGE!
Hearts... KK
A: Wow, Khloe! Great for you to join us! This sounds like a soul-searching question that only you can truly answer. But I can understand why you would ask yourself that question after Lamar’s two stink bombs in Games 1 and 2. Here are few tidbits to help you out…
1. Rondo has Finals MVP potential. In fact, he could be a great dark horse at +250. Imagine Rondo averages a triple-double similar to Game 2 in four Celtic victories. Maybe he goes crazy for one game or even on quarter and notches plus-15 assists and rebounds totals for one game. He averages could look something like: 18.8 points, 10.3 rebounds, 11.5 assists. When you crunch the numbers that seems very possible and almost likely.
2. While Lamar won’t likely merit MVP consideration, you have believe the worst is behind him. As a long time reader, you know that I contended that Kobe would get the support he needed from Lamar and Pau Gasol in at least two games. So far, Gasol has shown up… now it’s Lamar’s turn. 
3. Rondo had more rebounds than anybody on the court in Game 2. And while Rondo has (as you said) HUUUGE hands, Phil Jackson will be calling both Lamar and Gasol euro-trash if that trend keeps up. Also, Kobe Bryant and Derek Fisher should be putting a body on little Rajon to protect Lamar and Gasol’s collective rebounding manhood.
4. You are part of Lamar’s wolf pack now. That’s a commitment that Lamar takes very seriously (as evidenced by this shirt). You should think long and hard for before you turn your back on the pack.
Q: Debo, it’s Pau. Tell Alex I said, “Hola!” I had 24 points heading into the 4th quarter of Game 2 on 7 of 9 shooting. With David Stern’s help, I put the entire Boston frontline in foul trouble. Why didn’t I get a single shot in the final 12 minutes? Not even ONE!
A: Pau, I’ll deliver the message to Alex. He’s one of your biggest fans! But to answer your question, Jalen Rose wants you to know two things:
1. You play second banana to Kobe Bryant, not the other way around.
2. HE’S THE BEST CLOSER IN THE GAME! HE’S UNSTOPPABLE IN THE FOURTH QUARTER! M-V-P!! M-V-P!! M-V-P!!
I’m just kidding, Pau. Actually, I don’t blame Kobe entirely for this one. I’m pointing the finger at someone who never takes the blame. That’s right, Phil Jackson… I’m looking at you, big guy. After Kobe gets a fifth foul… no timeout. After Rondo hits one of two FTs, the Lakers have a legit shot of making a last second run in a two possession game… no timeout. After Artest and Fisher struggle to throw up last second prayers as the ball never even whiffs the paint… No timeout. Hell, Doc Rivers is a pseudo-hero ‘cause he old-man jogged to the free throw line to call a possession-saving time out. When the offense breaks down… when your team loses it’s focus by not pounding paint… when you’re within five inside of a minute… TAKE A TIMEOUT!!! It could be that… or it could be that you smell like an Italian subway car in the middle of July, and nobody wants to pass you the ball. Either way, take a timeout and then take a shower.
Q: From the desk of Tom Thibodeau: Mr. Debo, As you may or may not be aware, I’ll soon be moving to Chicago to mentor young Mr. Rose and Mr. Noah. While it would be illegal for me to comment on free agents at this time, I have reason to believe that a certain figure of royalty maybe joining me. Do I have what it takes to push Chi-town back into the championship spotlight?
A: Breaking News! An FTS exclusive: LBJ to the Bulls!!! Just kidding, that's not really Tom Thibodeau. This is all pretend. Back to the column...
Well, Mr. Thibodeau. You came to the right place because I have a unique opinion for you! And while I’ve learned to spell Thibodeau, we’ll be referring to you as Mr. T for the purposes of this article. I have an untold respect for you and your defensive game plans. But I can’t get behind the Chicago-Mr. T marriage.
This stinks of Bill Belichick in Cleveland. And I mean stinks. Defensive mastermind. Spectacular film study. Never been a head coach. Never talked to the media. Just like Belichick did, you’ll have to work out the kinks. Belichick failed miserably in Cleveland because he didn’t know how to handle million dollar athletes, he didn’t know how to handle the daily media barrage, and he didn’t know how to handle people in general. This coaching hire has all the same ingredients. In fact, I pity the fool...
I mean look at your question! It reads like a letter from my lawyer. If Derick Rose can’t pass the SAT, he won’t be able to decipher your legal-ease during a 20 second timeout. And Chicago expects to win and win soon – especially if they land Lebron. Speaking of Lebron, he’s not exactly a coach’s best friend. If you don’t believe me, just ask Mike Brown. My prediction? Pain...
On the bright side, you’ll bank over $6 million dollars and earn the head coaching chops you need to succeed whatever coach fails in Boston after Doc Rivers leaves to do TV work… I mean, spend time with family.
Q: Debo, say Queensbridge!!
=) Ron Artest
A: Queensbridge!
Q: Debo: Please cease and desist any and all derogatory tweets, comments, or articles about NBA officiating during this Finals series.
Sincerely, David Stern
A: Gulp… I hadn’t even gotten started yet. However, it was curious to see Ray Allen hand-cuffed 
by fouls in Game 1 only to have Kobe Bryant given the same treatment in the next contest. Obviously, we’ll never know, but it stands to reason that Kobe would have gotten a fifth and sixth foul out of the Boston bigs if he didn’t already have five fouls himself late in the fourth of Game 2. But in all honesty, isn’t this part of loving NBA basketball. Pro wrestling never would’ve made it without crooked refs, right? Now, if we could only knock Bennett Salvatore unconscious with an “accidental” chair shot.
by fouls in Game 1 only to have Kobe Bryant given the same treatment in the next contest. Obviously, we’ll never know, but it stands to reason that Kobe would have gotten a fifth and sixth foul out of the Boston bigs if he didn’t already have five fouls himself late in the fourth of Game 2. But in all honesty, isn’t this part of loving NBA basketball. Pro wrestling never would’ve made it without crooked refs, right? Now, if we could only knock Bennett Salvatore unconscious with an “accidental” chair shot.-Special thanks to Alex for some clutch questions when I hit the wall. You wouldn't laughing at this column without his help!
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