Cubicle QB - October 12, 2009

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda…
There wasn’t one thing that jumped out at me this week, so this edition of Cubicle QB will be a quick hitting version. We’ve got a lot to cover, so here we go…

We should just call the NFL MVP race off right now. Nobody is even close to touching Peyton Manning through five weeks of NFL action. No one player, coach, scheme, or string of good luck is as responsible for a team’s success as Peyton Manning is for the Indianapolis Colts right now. What’s even scarier is that he’s doing it with a Mormon and a French dude at WR.

I know it was against the Bucs, but could Donovan McNabb be bouncing back from a injury? Don’t look now, but the Eagles have a stable of playmakers in Westbrook, Jackson, Celek, and Maclin… Don’t look now, but the NFC East is a two horse race in the second week of October.

Brett Favre should go straight to hell. The Jets experiment was cute and all… but this Vikings crap has got to stop. I know Brett is upset at the Packer front office and that’s understandable. But not once has he made amends much less given Packer fans’ their due credit. Brett’s career hasn’t always been rosy. There have been several instances when he heaved the ball and his team’s playoff hopes 40 yards down field with nothing but a prayer. Regardless, Packer fan always came to his defense. Drug and alcohol addiction… They looked the other way. Retire, unretire, retire… Looked the other way. This is too much. Time to draw a line in the sand.

The “roughing the passer” and “defenseless receiver” penalties should stop… NOW! Playing football is not a right; it’s a choice. Football is a violent, dangerous game. No one promised anybody millions of dollars and a long happy retirement to go along with the joy of playing a game for a living. Football is special for a reason. It’s because not everybody can do it. If you don’t want to get hit in the face by a 300 lb defender, start a shitty blog called Cubicle QB. You’ll probably make less in a lifetime than a stud QB does in a season. But at least you’ll be safe.

The BCS title game should be moved to Atlanta and played the first weekend in December. I have no reason to believe that either Alabama or Florida will be tested by anybody coming out of the Big 12. Our only hope for excitement is a SEC Title Game rematch in January. Texas looks like a joke. Oklahoma doesn’t have the offensive line to stand a chance against a Bama or Gator defensive front. And as talented as USC is, would you trust your title hopes to a true freshman at QB?

Oh, while we’re at it… we should move the SEC Title Game outdoors. It’s not a track meet. I want to see slobbering noses, steaming heads, and a chilled turf for Alabama and Florida to fight over.

I should apologize to LSU; they are nowhere near the team I thought they would be by now. And Ole Miss fans should apologize to me and everybody else for wasting our time… Give me a break. And the Vols should apologize to Georgia – that was plain embarrassing.

Call of the Week When in doubt, stick to old faithful. Vintage Gus Johnson at the end of the Bengals-Ravens thriller. It’s important to note that Gus Johnson gets more excited than the radio announcers that are paid BY THE TEAM to call the game on a regular basis.

Monday Obits It’s been two weeks, so two teams have gotta go down:
Break out the chicken wings and 9mm… its VY time! The Titans just don’t have it this year. Even if you don’t want him as a franchise QB, better put Vince in and see if he can garner some trade value. RIP Tennessee Titans.
Let’s see… Unprepared head coach? Check. Purging Super Bowl-winning veterans? Check. Quarterback injury? Check. Flat lined playoff hopes? Check. RIP Tampa Buccaneers.

The Deceased: Oakland Raiders, Detroit Lions, Cleveland Browns, Kansas City Chiefs, Tennessee Titans, Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Debo’s Xs & Os If I hear another announcer tracing the roots of the Wildcat offense to Arkansas, or Miami, or anything before World War II, I’m going to puke. Take it from someone who created their first offensive playbook at age 13: The Wildcat is a dressed-up version of a decades old offense called the Single Wing. The Single Wing is run heavy offense that’s been used in pop warner, middle school, and high school football for decades.
The basics? A runningback or option quarterback takes the snap. Interior linemen pull across the formation as heavy duty lead blockers. Use misdirection and elaborate fakes to force defenders to stand tall, read, and find the football. If you don’t believe me check Wikipedia or this respected journalist.

The Weekend Menu #20 Oklahoma and #3 Texas clash in the Red River Shoot Out. Yet again, this one has national title implications. Since this is noon game, we’ll keep it simple. Start your football watching with a home made helping of Spicy Bean Salsa.

No salsa would be complete without an ice cold brew to cool you down. And since Oklahoma caps alcohol at 3.2% (WTF?), we turn to Texas and our old friend Shiner. This weekend grab Shiner Smokehaus – a refreshing Helles-style beer with a smoky flavor. It’s a pale malt that’s been smoked with native mesquite flavors. My mouth is watering already…

Don’t forget to send your comments, emails, and gripes. And enjoy your football and enjoy it often!